Monday, June 26, 2006
definition of happiness....
Do you consider happiness on the expense of others happiness? Sometimes i got this urge to be selfish and not care about other people's feelings and just proclaim that happiness to be mine. Sometimes i really hate myself for doing that... i put myself into the shoes on that poor soul and not want that to happen to me. Maybe i did sometime bad in my previous life or i just simply not a good person, thats why God wants me to pay for that debt by losing the most precious thing in life.....
I thanked pink for walking into my life, when i feel so low.... when i wanted so much to give up my life... when i about to close that door that connects me to the rest of the work... Pink gave me that cup of special honey water.... the honey water stopped the fountain from flowing and some strength to go on till the last day of my life.... Pink is that angel...
I know that angel will leave me one day.... angel will not be with me forever.... in fact this angel does not belong to me.... i have taken something that not belong to me... i feel bad not because i have taken something i shouldn't have taken... i feel bad because i don't feel guilty or bad at all.... i have changed... i'm not that little girl anymore.... i'm someone who i don't even know who i am....
The only thing i can do is to get enough courage to be independent..... in fact i need more than courage to leave that trap.... i don't know if i become weaker or is it that i have become more expressive..... Ting, for you and Snoopy, you have to do it!
happi_cat @ 10:00 PM
- s n o o p y LOVE (: ; -
