Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Mixed feeling...
Having a mixed feeling now... feeling relieved after the breakup, but somehow i feel a sense of lost.... i'm still very bad at dealing with losses.... after Mr Lim's death, i seems to be bad at everything... my studies sucks, my life is messed up, i seemed to be out of track, i have no focus and aim in my life. Hmm... since i have so much time in the world now, i shld do something about it, find back a focus... get involve and live my life to the fullest!
I have straighten out my thought and realised that loving someone is not so easy, i have not reached the stage yet. I realised i don't really love him, how to love someone when u have zero knowledge of him??? I think i like him.... like him alot bah...... try to let go... start afresh... start to get to know him all over again.... maybe like what my niangeee said to me, if he is the one, he will be there waiting for you.... she asked me not to pinned too much hopes on him again.... well i know that... i won't think so much for now.... i need a break from all this before i start to think about it again.... cause i know that being hurt by the same person twice the pain will be double...
To let go is not easy but i just have to try.... try my best... i cannot let the rest of the people down, my family and my friends... they will still be there for me.... i cannot make them sad right?? I already lost something, i don't want to lose anything again....
I guess i have learnt a lesson, to understand before i step into any relationship... not only from relationship for everything, for my fyp too i realised... was typing the proposal, i realised i don't understand what i was typing... i just have to start all over again, if not i'll die doing something i don't know.... and its scary too... I have to learn to be more expressive... caring for someone is one thing, telling is another... i just i have to tell people that i care sometimes.... if not they will never know... learnt a valuable lesson from this... so thats not too bad... i grew up le.... somehow... not the little girl anymore....
happi_cat @ 4:34 PM
- s n o o p y LOVE (: ; -
